Antsy Feet

I am getting antsy about not running.

“What, Erin?” you ask, shocked and appalled to hear that my legs are no longer crawling out of bed before dawn. “You’re not running?!”

Oh no. I’m on a break.

“But why?!”

Well, after I did that half marathon …

“You ran a half?! Way to go!”

Oh, I totally did not RUN it. I ran/walked the first half (woo hoo! 1:18 – Fastest 10k according to my Nike watch!), stopped running around 7.5-8 miles, began limping around 10-11 miles, and finally made it to the finish line at around 3:21. (Wow, I didn’t realize until I typed that how much I slowed down in the second half!)

More on that later, though.

As you might expect, my feet are SORE. My right foot has more-than-expected residual pain, though. I’m instructed to baby it with supportive shoes all the time and probably best not to run.

At first I didn’t really notice, what with the mastitis (yes) and the stomach bug from Hades (lost four pounds in one night – good grief). But now that I’m slowly returning to normal, I actually miss running. The idea of not running for another week makes me a little sad.

Sad enough to contemplate the bikes at the gym, and that’s REALLY sad. I hate those things, with their butt-numbing seats. They make treadmills feel like excellence.

We shall see …

So for this year …

Long time, no post! Life has been hectic since … well, Christmas? Witness the Christmas cards still sitting on my desk, waiting to be mailed.Oh yes, really. I’ll get to that later though …

I spent a lot of time thinking after I wrote my post about being youer than you. I’ve felt for a few years – mainly at work, somewhat at home – that I’m not really being me. It’s not an uncommon thing, I think, for newer wives and mothers to feel that way. I mean, it feels like every few years you go through an adjustment and maturity process that makes you do that questioning of self anyway. That’s why we have so many great coming-of-age and finding-yourself novels, movies, etc. I went from established single woman to fiancee, wife, and mother in two years. Then we added two more kids, I changed jobs in the middle of that, and I work in an area where some forms of blazing personal expression that makes you stand out (purple hair, nose ring, visible tattoos) isn’t totally cool on the job. (My perception, anyway.) So somewhere along the way I felt like a lot of “me” got shackled, forgotten, grown out of, or otherwise left along the roadside because there wasn’t time, energy, or benefit to my career.

It just ended up making me sad. Sad and frustrated. And kind of angry. I’m done with that. I’m done with forgetting who I am at heart in favor of meeting someone else’s expectations that I haven’t totally bought into.

That doesn’t mean that I’m rejecting these wonderful roles and jobs that I have now — on the contrary! I want to go back to being the Me who got into them in the first place.

Be Me

Be Me

I want to have fun.

I want to be creative. I want to knit and scrapbook and write and make things with my kids. (And try to not freak at the mess.)

I want to laugh at things that I like, even if they’re silly and frivolous. I like Disney princesses, and I like young adult fiction, and I like cartoon movies.

I want to wear my Tinkerbell or Christmas socks any time of year, any day of the week, and not worry about someone thinking they’re not “executive” enough.

I want to keep my focus and priority on my family and friends, not on my job. If that means I never go beyond where I am now, so be it.

I want to help more. There are so many people I know who are going through tough things, and I want to help however I can. I’ll start running with Charity Miles, look for ways to support friends, and keep buying one extra bag of groceries for the food pantry whenever I can.  I’m trying to figure out how to host a virtual 5K/10K for a friend’s infant son who needs a kidney transplant.

I want to be more of the me that God intended me to be, and less of the me that I was letting my circumstances make me. I think I’ll need to start small because my brain can’t handle much more than that. 🙂

Colossians 3:17

Another Disney Running Princess: Elsa

I didn’t mean to be so long between posts! Lots of things happening that have kept me away or too tired to be at the keyboard. Nothing bad, just busy-ness.
One of the sort of strange side effects of doing one Disney race is that now I dream up Disney-flavored running outfits as a “brain break” sometimes. Last night I was doodling around on the iPad and put together some Elsa/Frozen ideas. So here you go …
Any requests? My larger Disney Polyvore collection is here, and here’s my Pinterest runDisney board.
Frozen Princess Run
Frozen Princess Run by dormousie 

Be Youer Than You

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You

I think I have a little mini-series of posts in my head … a lot of processing and thinking to do, in a good way! Here’s the first part … 

I spend a good chunk of time at work helping people – employees, managers, organizations, whatever – crystallize their goals and plans. Maybe it’s goals for their career, maybe it’s goals for the organization to reach within the year or five years, maybe it’s goals for a specific project. We plan full day workshops to work on organizational strategic planning. I’ll spend an hour or two with an employee, talking about their motivators and demotivators (is too a word), their interests and goals, and what they can do to take steps in that direction.

What’s the old saying? “The cobbler’s wife has no shoes, the doctor’s wife is always sick”… something like that. What I mean by that is that I rarely remember to turn the attention to myself – where do I want to be in five years? Where do I want to grow, try new things, or stop old habits?

Most of the time, there’s work to do before we can even get to that conversation. It’s the “Who am I?” conversation. As a professional, I counsel people that it’s one of the best and most important conversations they can have, whether as an individual or a team. “Who am I? What’s my identity? What’s my purpose?”

A lot of the time that can get too overwhelming. We think we have to have a big huge answer, complete with world-changing personal impact. Then we get caught in a trap of “What if I’m not special? What if I can’t change the world? What if who I am isn’t good enough?”

So let’s get that out of the way: you are special. You are unique. As Dr. Seuss says:

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You

 

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”   (Dr. Seuss, Happy Birthday to You)

I love that quote because every person has something about them that sets them apart from the body on the other side of them. One of the biggest problems I see is that people don’t appreciate themselves enough.  Or they appreciate themselves too much, but then they don’t come talk to me because they already have it all figured out. Ahem.

These are the questions I ask them, and that I want to ask myself:

  • What do you love to do, even if you’re not the best at it?
  • What would you spend your day doing if money, time, and other commitments weren’t a factor?
  • What, when you finish it, gives you an enormous sense of satisfaction?
  • What are you also good at?
  • What do other people always come to you for?
  • What would make you miserable if you had to stop doing it?

Even when I’m talking with people about their professional careers, I ask them to think about the full spectrum of their lives – personal and professional. Sometimes we think that our personal inclinations and preferences have to stay out of our professional lives (and sometimes we’re right!). Sometimes, though, we can find hidden things in our personal life preferences that would add a lot more joy to our professional life.

So that’s my assignment for today: What makes Erin me-er than me?

What about you? What’s youer than you?