Signs You May Be at the End of Your Pregnancy Rope
by Erin

You see this quote from Ina May Gaskin: “Squat 300 times a day, you’re going to give birth quickly.” You start seriously considering 300 squats a day as something normal and easy to work into your daily schedule at 37.5 weeks pregnant.

You watch a cute but not overwhelmingly life-changing, life-affirming, or original movie with David Tennant and a cute chick from Scotland, and you cry into a pillow because it was just so sweet and why can’t more people find love on a remote Scottish island?

The kids have a typical day of being sweet, being, horrid, and being totally obstinate, and you go to your room, shut the door. Go to the bathroom, shut the door. Go into the walk-in close, and shut the door. Then you finally start to feel like you may have a bit of quiet, and you start to cry for no reason.

The walk-in closet becomes your favorite place in the house because it puts three doors between you and anyone else.

You consider throwing away every single toy in the house just so you don’t have to hear “Take TURNS, Seth!” or “NO, NORA! That’s MINE!!” ever again. And it’s not just an idle thought … you start looking for boxes.

You wash all the cloth diapers that are bigger than newborn size and realize the elastic is shot in almost every single one … and wonder how you’re going to fix them all in the month before the baby is likely to start using them.

You try to tell the kids to do something, and can only get out the words that give the exact OPPOSITE message of what you’re trying to say.

You tell your husband about something sprained, and get really frustrated because you can’t seem to form the words you’re really trying to say: “sprayed with stain remover.”

You try to go to bed and rest, and give up because it just isn’t comfortable at all.

You cry for any and all of these reasons, and then for no reason at all.

38 weeks on Wednesday. We can do this, kid. We can make it to the end. This is the best and the worst part of pregnancy … so near, so far, so much guessing and anticipation and STRESS. Is it, isn’t it? Now? Not now. Deep, cleansing yoga breaths … or something like that.