The last two nights I’ve been awake at 2:30 am, on the trail of the neighborhood’s Most Annoying Bird. I’m good with birds being all happy and singing, but I’m not good with that happening at 2:30 in the morning. I don’t know if this is a recent arrival with jet lag or what, but it needs to chill out.

The first night I woke up the dog and sicced her on the bird. She, being stupid and also tired, dutifully wagged her way out there and accomplished nothing. Full marks for being a good dog, though. Then I spotted a hula hoop and thought, “Now that’s a good projectile.” Toss, swish, flutter, and the bird shut up.

Last night the bird got crafty. It started singing its insane song at 2:30 again, and I growled out there with my hula hoop. Toss, swish, singing continues. And now it’s mocking me. Twice more I picked up the hula hoop and threw where I thought the noise was coming from.

I finally got silence, but I’m a little worried about what’s coming tonight.