Category: on a soapbox

Not as easy as they say.

One statement I’ve heard a lot about running:

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“It’s the easiest sport ever! You just put on some running shoes and go outside!”

Totally correct! Except when it’s not. I think it’s a gross over-simplification that breaks down pretty quickly for many people. For me, that could have been correct when I was under 30, single, or newly married.

These days – with three children (toddler up to now first-grader), an awesome husband, and a full-time job away from home – it’s more like this:

20140606-103204-37924347.jpgIs it worth it? Absolutely. Is it easy? No way, and I’m not even talking about the running part of running.

I love reading running blogs, but need to go beyond my usual reads. They’re great women, but they’re mostly child-free and younger than me. I am serious when I say that I love reading their posts and have learned a lot from them. I need to find some peers to round out my reading, you know? I start putting unrealistic expectations on myself otherwise.

I had a conversation online with some other mom friends who are working fitness into their lives in various ways. It is HARD. It doesn’t matter if you’re a mom who stays and works at home or if you’re a mom who’s working outside the home. Filling at least three roles (individual, partner, and mother) takes a lot of time and energy. Adding a fourth role – RUNNER – brings in a whole new dimension of strategy.

I run in the early morning or in a gym at the end of the work day. For the early morning, I run outside in our neighborhood. I have had to think through the things that would make me feel safer … reflective gear, light-colored clothing, lower music volume, CONSTANT VIGILANCE (thank you, Professor Moody), sticking to well-lit sidewalks, and timing my run so that I’m running more toward sunrise than not. I totally bailed on running when DST started because it was just too dark. Also never pictured in my post-run photos: the pepper spray I try to remember to carry every time. Not just for humans, but for any dogs whose owners aren’t being smart about them. I’m also thinking about buying a reflective vest type thing to wear when I run early morning. Early mornings work for me because kids are asleep, my husband can shower and start to get ready, and it’s the coolest part of the day here. I hate getting up, but that’s the trade-off I have to make.

I think that’s the big conversation you have to have with your partner and yourself: trade-offs. If we both agree this is something important to do for my mental and physical health, we both have to agree to make space for it somehow and address associated concerns. If the concern is being left alone at a certain time with the kids, what are the alternative plans that don’t result in that and what steps do we take to mitigate additional concerns? If the concern is safety of running location or time, what are the adjustments to be made to meet those concerns? Which primary concern “wins” for both of you so that you agree to make the adjustments for the secondary concern?

Adding in the Runner role requires change. It is NOT the easiest sport ever for me. It requires flexibility from everyone. There is no absolutely perfect solution that requires no change, because no change keeps you in the situation you’re already in. Something always has to give – time, routine, or money for a gym with childcare so mommy can exercise and not lose her head.

The pay-off has been totally worth it. My daughter plays “runner” now, in the middle of being a princess-astronaut-doctor-mom. She went to go have her run “in space” after putting her babies in bed. My oldest son wants to start running with me every week. My toddler already loves the jogging stroller. I don’t want to smack strangers as often as I used to. It’s awesome … it’s just not easy.

Crazy hair and a red face

I was thinking a lot during this morning’s run. It was the last day of my eight-week Beginner 5K training plan, and it was my “race day” … the day I was supposed to run five kilometers, or about 3.11 miles. I’ve finally progressed past the point of having to concentrate on how I’m placing my feet, whether my shoulders and neck are tense, and if I can possibly get more oxygen in/carbon dioxide out. (Well, okay, I still think about that last one a lot toward the end.) Even with my obnoxious running music playing in my earphones, my brain still starts to wander and dwell on stuff that’s been going on in my world.

Today I thought a lot about an article a friend linked on Facebook. It’s about some images the author feels are six of the most irresponsible “fitspiration” images that get shared on Pinterest and other image sharing sites. I’m sure you’ve seen them or something like them — women or men with almost nothing on, sweat dripping from their ripped abs and defined arms, with some sort of hardcore slogan about endurance and persistence.

I hate a lot of fitspiration images. The reason I hate them isn’t as much the text about persistence and endurance, although I do agree that a lot of it irresponsible thinking. (Listen to your body. You do have an edge. Don’t hate your own self.) I hate the unrealistic imagery and the accepted sexualization in so many of these pictures.

Last week I linked my RunKeeper posts to this blog. After I finish a run, the run details, any notes I make, and a “featured photo” (if I have one) post automatically to Treacle.net. If you look at the posts on the main page, on Facebook, or follow me on RunKeeper, you’ll see a spectacularly lovely picture of me at the end of the run. It kind of started as a joke between me and my husband, who started a half marathon training plan around the same time I started my 5K plan: “Who has the worst post-run face?” We live in Houston, we’re running in the summer, and we both turn beet red at the slightest amount of heat. I did have another agenda with those pictures, though.

Earlier this summer, my five year old son didn’t want to wear shorts because he thought he looked silly. I’m not sure what made him think about it that way, but I do know that was my first big reminder about my kids’ body image. I’ve been really big on not getting clothes that I think will convey unhealthy images — super short shorts for little girls – I mean, really? I want to pay more attention to practices I don’t even notice but could affect how they view themselves, their standards of beauty and attractiveness, what they think is healthy.

So I take ugly pictures of myself after running, and I put them out on the internet for everyone to see.

I want my kids to know that sweat is SWEAT. It is not sparkling or glowing or dewing. It is not glamourous or in all the attractive spots at the right time. It is in my hair, on my arms and legs, it is dripping in my nose when I bend over for a cooldown stretch. It is healthy and it is evidence that I have done HARD WORK TO BE HEALTHY.

I have crazy hair and a red face. I have occasionally run in make-up because I’ve run after work or on a break. I’ll probably wear some level of make-up for the Disney race because it’s part of the costume. EXERCISE DOES NOT REQUIRE PERFECTION. You don’t have to look like a Disney princess to start exercising. You won’t look like a Disney princess after you exercise. But you will FEEL like you have vanquished all kinds of villains when you finish.

I have a mommy body. My once size 2 or size 4 frame is at least a vanity-size 8 or 10. I have a stomach that quite obviously (if you ever saw it) was stretched out to grow three babies. I have breasts that grew during pregnancy and extended nursing. There is nothing taut or cute … or is there? You will not know, because it is NOT ON DISPLAY. Exercise is for ME. It is work, and it is for MY BENEFIT, NOT SOMEONE ELSE’S PERCEPTION.

But I won’t hide my body. I will wear what I feel is comfortable and appropriate. I will take real pictures and put them on the internet. This is what my exercise reality looks like. Someone else may really always look like a Disney princess when she runs. I am proud of that woman. Not because she looks like a princess, but BECAUSE SHE IS RUNNING. That is the real achievement – she and I are both doing something for our health. What we look like is incidental.

I want my kids to know that healthfulness is habitual. It is hard. It is a choice. It is not usually glamourous. It is not about bottled perfection. It is about getting out there, doing your thing, and not being ashamed of who you are. It’s about making YOU better, not you into someone else’s ideal of you. I feel like the best thing I can do for them, body image-wise, is to model being comfortable with my own body and being real and unashamed. Crazy hair, red face, and all.

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A “food philosophy?” Are you kidding me?

Okay, this question (Day 9 – what’s your food philosophy?) is just stupid. A philosophy about food? Really?

Okay, okay … I’ll expand on what I personally mean by stupid and why this irritates me. First of all, it bugs me that we as a culture are so obsessed with food that we have to have philosophies about it. It’s food. It’s important, but not that important. How about my philosophy on civil rights in the current age? My philosophy on gender bias in toys and education and the way we as parents talk to or about our children? My philosophy on Christian missions and the changes I’ve seen and hope to continue to see?

Here’s my food philosophy:

  • Eat healthfully and mindfully.
  • Avoid pre-packaged and processed foods when possible, but don’t become a slave (held captive) to food and food planning.
  • Enjoy what you eat, eat what you enjoy.
  • Eat with people you love, and enjoy the time with them.

I’ll rein back in now that I’ve had my soapbox moment. There are people who have food philosophies that are meaningful, thought-out carefully, based on their personal ethics, etc. I respect that. I just think we’ve generally started putting too much emphasis on food in ways that really don’t matter.

Also: paleo brownies? Are you kidding me? There were not brownies in the Paleolithic era. Argh.

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