One of the things I never expected thirteen years ago, back when I started being online, was that I would get married “late” (based on when almost everyone I knew got married), that I would have a child within two years of being married, and that I would be a working mother.
My plan was to get married around 25 or 26, have a child about five years later, and then stay at home with the baby while my husband worked. Instead, I got married at 29, had our first baby just before my 31st birthday, had our second baby just before my 33rd birthday, and my husband works from home and stays home with the kids.
It’s had various challenges, and I could talk about those at length. Maybe one of the biggest things has been trying to not be the stereotypical “working parent” who comes home and ignores all the wonderful things the parent at home has done during the day. I’m bad at this anyway; Will has an incredible tendency toward service, and he has taken care of our home, of me, of all the little things that I hate doing, and he does it all because he loves me and our children. I – not having that gift – tend to take it for granted, don’t reciprocate as much as I should, and I forget to say thank you.
I’m trying to be better about that. I’m grateful for the chance to play with the kids when I get home from work. I’m grateful for the dinner Will made for all of us, and the clean kitchen. I’m grateful for having clean clothes because Will took the time to do laundry. I’m grateful that when I came home, Seth (our two-year-old) was happily playing at the sink, “helping” Daddy wash dishes while Will made dinner.
So … I try to remember to clean the bathroom on trash day. It helps me to have a reminder like that. We both hate it, but there’s no reason I can’t do one of the things I hate so Will doesn’t have to. I try to remember to make the bed. (When I write it out like this, it seems pathetically small!)
And tonight we had a special little treat after the kids were in bed. (No, not THAT treat. I wouldn’t tell you about that … ) A French press of decaf coffee with a little pumpkin pie spice, some Laceys cookies, and the choice of decorating the Christmas tree or watching tv. He chose watching tv, which I was very happy with because I didn’t really feel like standing upright anymore today, what with being up since 3am and all.
And now … bed!